She just used a chaser for red wine.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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