They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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