i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
