My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
