I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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