That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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