I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
