no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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