i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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