i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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