ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
