I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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