I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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