Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize