I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
