"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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