Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
So apparently I’m into choking now
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