You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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