At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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