Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
