did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize