): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
