Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize