I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
