i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
