If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I cut my penus on the lid.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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