Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
