How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
