Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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