He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
