i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
