I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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