Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
