Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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