You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
