doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
