Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You ate ashes out of my bong
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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