stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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