Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
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