and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She's the barista slut.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Just high enough for therapy.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
