i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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