I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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