filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
