Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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