its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
