names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
