alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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