vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
there is puke in my bra ... again
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