im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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