Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
