im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
