New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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