you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
