Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
