i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
