he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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